The First Guy to Hit On Me (IRL)

"Are you here to support or are you one?"

"Are you Malay or Chinese?"

"Can I have your number (or Instagram, or anything)?"

It was three questions asked near the end of Pink Dot 2015. My first Pink Dot, and the first time someone hit on me in real life. I was more panicked than excited in the heat of moment, really. I went for the event with a few of my close polytechnic friends. With the word 'family' in mind, the girls I went with could've passed as sisters or mothers with how I often relied on their opinions with my experiences. The issue was that these people were missing in the exact moment I needed them most. 

We were heading to the MRT or someplace nearby to look for food, before the guy caught my attention (probably grabbed my arm). The first question came out, to which I answered I was both 'one' and a 'supporter'. I wondered what kind of solicitation it was, when he asked the second question, and that clued me to the gist of it. I was Malay. I did check around to see if my friends were still with me, but they were nowhere in my sight. Breaking eye contact too long was rude, and he gave little buffer before the third question. Again, much like how I felt with my first date, I was dealing with a stranger. Sharing of personal details was dangerous. When I did manage to eyeball my friends from a distance, it was impractical to pause a conversation for me to run the length of an Olympic size pool for my friends' opinions. Not to mention the floor was uneven grass, and it was still a little crowded. 

The best I could do in the moment was to reply 'I don't know'. In effect, it was a no, but I really meant it. As much as I considered the idea of a prospective date, stranger danger was as real a possibility. I apologized and rushed off to my friends to relay the tiny ordeal I just went through. 

I first complained why they didn't wait for me, to which they probably replied something about giving us time or space or privacy. Then one mentioned that he kept staring at my direction (allegedly, my arms), to which I exclaimed that a little heads-up would be nice. I told them the three questions and the ending, and each of the three chimed in with their opinions. 

One was more cautious, saying she wouldn't have given out her number if she were in my place. Another was more of 'why not?', she was the most sexually active among us. The last one was a little more impartial, initially agreeing with the former before the latter. They were all equally valid takes, the only thing that mattered was how I dealt with the outcome afterwards. 

It reached a point where I felt that I could have given it a chance to see where it lead. I spent a few days combing through the Pink Dot Instagram tags, hoping to see him tagged somewhere or something. Alas, I only made contact with him years later, after I was involved with someone else. 

I did bring up the story to him, to which he apologized for his forwardness and putting me on the spot. I apologized in turn, for possibly embarrassing him and wasting his time (I believe he had his friend observing him the whole time). We did chat for a while, until I did remark over one of his physical features that was a possible deal-breaker for me. Might be the reason why he blocked me on TikTok now. Who knows.